People have all sorts of dating dealbreakers they like to lay out on the table. From country music to religion, to political alignment, there are millions of places to draw the line. But, at least in my book, there are only three dating dealbreakers that are written in stone.
Dating Dealbreaker #1:
Never allow others to cause you harm.
This is the golden rule of dating. No one worth their salt should be causing you physical or emotional pain. Sure, partners may hurt each others’ feelings every now and then, but your well-being must always come first. If your partner makes you feel small, helpless, or just plain bad, it’s time to find the door. Even if you think it’s an accident, this person isn’t self-aware enough to respect your safety or your feelings. Harm can come in a number of forms, and some are more obvious than others. It’s important to recognize when someone is making your world darker than it used to be so you can find a way to change it.
Dating Dealbreaker #2:
Never allow someone to treat your loved ones badly.
Your friends and family are an extension of you. If your partner doesn’t treat them with respect, they most likely don’t respect you either. A good relationship brings your two worlds together, which means that a good partner is willing to become part of your world—not just forcing you to enter theirs. When someone treats your friends and family poorly, what they’re really saying is “your social world is less important than mine.” And that just won’t fly.
That being said, your partner doesn’t have to become best friends with all of your friends. Most likely, there’s going to be at least one person they don’t get along with. And the same goes for you. What matters is that they still show respect to that person and respect your decision to remain close with that person despite their differences.
Dating Dealbreaker #3:
Never lose connection to the outside world.
Remember when I said that a good relationship brings two worlds together? That’s still true. If you feel like your social circle is becoming just you and your partner, it’s time to reach out. Never let someone become your only source of fulfillment—it’s a completely unsustainable dynamic. Even relationships that start out healthy can become codependent and eventually fall apart. It’s important to stay in touch with your friends and family and spend time with them without your partner. Your individuality is most likely something that your partner was attracted to in the first place, so never lose it.